Public Education

Well, I was hoping to post pictures of Granny’s birthday party from last night; but we are having trouble downloading one picture from the camera. All the other have downloaded fine except the one of Ann and Amy. So, for now I will use this space to vent as the parent of a child in the public school system. Look for a more uplift, fun blog tomorrow with many pictures.

Now, for today’s soap box issue. I am sure many of you probably know I am not fond of the Lubbock Independent School District. They have done little to impress me over the last six years. In fact, Gary and I spend a significant amount of time undoing the damage to self-esteem and self-confidence they cause our girls. Thankfully, God has blessed all three of our girls with the ease of learning; therefore their academics come naturally and is not a battle we have to fight. He prepared them with that as he knew the battles we would have with the social aspects of public schooling.

Today in fact is no except to my frustration. Here is the scenario:

I get a call a little before lunch from Hailey’s teacher. She had called very caringly to let me know that today had asked herself and the student teacher the definition of “metro sexual”. She said she it was very random as of course it had nothing to do with what was being taught at the time. She explained to me they defined it to Hailey as a man who was very “into” his looks and dress. I felt this definition was fine and basic enough for Hailey to understand. I thanked her for going out of her way to let me know of Hailey’s inquisitiveness. I told her we were very open at home about answering any and all questions the girls asked regardless of how uncomfortable they may be.

I got off the phone thinking to myself. Well, now that was refreshing. Her teacher went above and beyond to offer that information and involve the parents. (That is not typically something we would expect.)

Well, I should have known it would not have been that easy. Hailey comes home at 3pm and phones me at work to let me know they were home. I immediately say, “I heard from Ms. Corbin today that you learned a new definition?” Hailey responded with, “What are you talking about?” I gave her the scenario and she said, “Mom, I have never heard that word and I didn’t ask them what it meant.” Well, I’m thinking okay, this is not like Hailey to be lying, but she must be. So, I explained to her she knew the definition and she knows it was not a bad word, so why was she being defensive about the situation. Now crying that I questioned her honesty, she said the famous line, “Mom, I promise!” Okay, now as a mother, I am in a huge dilemma. This nice communication with the school that was no big deal has caused an issue of honestly at home. And now, I have all but accused Hailey of not being honest with me and must follow through. My heart is telling me, “Hailey has never lied to you before and she is not lying now.” My brain is telling me, “She could be lying because she is almost a teenager and that is not always a good stage.” So I say to Hailey, “Are you telling me your teacher is lying?” Our sweet Hailey not wanting to accuse anyone of such a thing because she is so feeling the pain of such accusations says, “No, but maybe she got confused.” Still not listening to my heart, I tell her I am calling her teacher back to get to the bottom of this and find out why this is such an issue for Hailey. We hang up with Hailey crying.

I immediately call the teacher. I tell her that I asked Hailey about learning the new definition and that she is denying it. I tell her that is so unlike Hailey and I am confused as to why this would be a big deal for her because we discuss such things at home quiet frequently. (Our philosophy is we would rather they here the correct information from us then the wrong information from someone else.) Anyway, the teacher somewhat chuckled like ok and told me to hang on. She came back to tell me that she asked the student teacher and they were pretty sure it was Hailey. (Ok, let’s stop right there – pretty sure?) I told the teacher I was very happy with the way they handled the situation so I am sure if they got the wrong student, another mother would love the same caring phone call. She said well, the student teacher described her to me and it sounds like Hailey. (So, we now have a pretty sure and the fact that the conversation only occurred with the student teacher not with both teacher and student teacher as was previously imposed.)

Now I am starting to realize the heart is always wiser than the brain in situations like this with your kids. It is tied to those maternal instincts that let us know deep down in our guts what the truth is. But, do I totally follow my heart at this point? No! Although I have great reservations about what exactly occurred at school, my brain tells me that an adult educator would never lie; so it must be something going on with Hailey. Again, I call Hailey at home and tell her I talked with her teacher and she confirmed it was her. Hailey is beyond crying now and is sobbing so hard she can not catch her breath. She asked me when today this happened. I told her I did not know; but she should call her teacher.

Hailey calls her teacher then calls me back to say her teacher was not sure exactly when it happened; but they would talk about it more tomorrow. When Hailey tells me this, I decide I should make another call to the school. This time to the principal.

I explain the whole days events and each phone call to the principal. She of course knows Hailey and I relayed that she was extremely upset that her honesty had been question. And although the issue of the original phone call was not a big deal, it had become a huge deal with us at home and for Hailey’s sake; we need to get to the bottom of it. After I went to great extents giving her every detail, she told me she knew of the situation and that apparently it had occurred sometime last week, maybe Thursday or Friday. ( Ok, deep breath here. Are you telling me what was said to occur today you are not sure exactly when it occurred?) She told me the teacher told Hailey they (teacher, student teach and principal) would talk about it more in the morning, so hopefully they would know more then. Then proceeded to insinuate they were all just concerned where Hailey would hear such a word because it was clearly not an “elementary” word. At this point, my heart is in full control and the picture is becoming very clear. Not to mention I am totally amazed at the ignorance of an adult educator in today’s society not realizing are children are bombarded with words from every aspect of our society.

This is my conclusion to what really happened:

The student teacher who is new identified the wrong student because she has not learned all their names yet. She decided today (however many days after the fact) to tell the real teacher of the question she received from a student last week and the answer she gave them. Probably thinking about it over the weekend hoping this was the right answer to give to such a controversial sounding word. It probably was not “prodical” to answer such a question so to cover her bases, the real teacher decided to be so caring as to inform mom of the conversation. However, she did so before getting all the facts from her student teacher and did not anticipate a family who communicates to bring to her attention the fact something was not right about this situation. At which point she realized the lack of communication between herself and her student teacher which resulted in not all the facts given. Instead of admitting they are human and made a mistake. They think they (teacher, student teacher and principal) will all meet with Hailey tomorrow morning and convince her she was the one who asked the question.

I can assure you I am now listening to my heart and that meeting will not occur without Gary and I standing by Hailey’s side tomorrow at school. And I will learn from the mistakes of the other adults involved and apologize to Hailey for not trusting her as I thought during the very first phone conversation with the teacher, “why didn’t she just ask me”.

Morals of my day:

1. When it comes to your kids, your heart knows the best.
2. It is not like the good ‘ole days, teachers are not always right. Learn when they are and advocate for your kids when they are not. If you don’t, who will?
3. Finally, many prayers of blessing on those of you who home school your kids.
I can only imagine the work and dedication is must take; but I commend you
for your efforts as we are the ultimate educators both academically and
spiritually of our children.


Thank you for letting me vent. If you have any words of wisdom, I would love to hear them.

LA!
Toni